Belajar dari Maia Estianty, Inilah Cara Move On Setelah 10 Tahun Berpisah dari Pasangan! Pesannya Baper Banget

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Dunia hiburan Tanah Air tengah mengukir kabar bahagia. Pasalnya, musisi sekaligus mantan istri dari musisi dan politikus Ahmad Dhani resmi melepas masa jandanya.

Senin (29/10/2018), Maia Estianty resmi menikah dengan pengusaha Irwan Mussry. Keduanya memilih melangsungkan pernikahan di Tokyo, Jepang, secara tertutup dan hanya mengundang sejumlah keluarga dekat juga rekan terdekat mereka.

Setelah dibocorkan suasana pernikahannya di salah satu masjid di Tokyo, akun Instagram milik Maia maupun Irwan Mussry banjir ucapan. Bahkan, sebelum resmi menikah, baik Maia maupun Irwan sama-sama mengunggah foto kolase kedua pasangan saat masih kecil dan menuliskan keterangan yang berupa doa.

Seperti yang kita ketahui, Maia sendiri merupakan janda beranak tiga yang dipersunting Ahmad Dhani pada 17 November 1996 lalu. Akan tetapi, rumah tangga mereka yang dikaruniai tiga anak, yaitu Ahmad Al Ghazali, Ahmad El Jallaludin Rumi, dan Abdul Qodir Jaelani ini kandas pada 2008.

Artinya, Maia sudah bercerai kurang lebih selama 10 tahun dengan mantan suami yang telah memberikannya tiga anak. Tak mudah bagi Maia untuk bangkit dari keterpurukan pascacerai dengan Ahmad Dhani saat itu.

Terlebih, berbagai permasalahan rumah tangga Maia dan Dhani seolah tak pernah berhenti dibicarakan masyarakat luas.

Bagaimana tidak, Maia harus rela angkat kaki dari kediamannya yang telah dihuni bersama suami dan anaknya selama belasan tahun tanpa membawa harta benda apa pun. Bahkan, Maia juga tak membawa salah satu atau beberapa buah hatinya lantaran permasalahan rumah tangga.

Belum berhenti sampai di situ, keretakan rumah tangga Maia dan Dhani yang disinyalir karena adanya orang ketiga. Tak berselang lama, santer kabar bahwa Ahmad Dhani menikah siri dengan mantan rekan duet Maia, Mulan Jameela.

Kenyataan tersebut dibarengi dengan kabar melahirkannya Mulan yang kemudian kembali jadi bahan perbincangan publik. Tentu hal tersebut bagi Maia bukanlah suatu hal yang mudah, terlebih ia sudah menikah selama belasan tahun dan bekerja dengan Mulan selama beberapa tahun belakangan.

Namun kenyataannya, Maia dianggap mampu bangkit dari keterpurukannya. Karir dan usaha Maia dinilai sangat sukses dan melejit. Di mata masyarakat, kesuksesannya didapat karena kerja keras dan tekad Maia usai dirinya terpuruk setelah harus angkat kaki tanpa membawa apa pun dari mantan suaminya.

Publik lantas salut dan memuji keuletan Maia yang dibuktikan dengan prestasi dan kesuksesannya. Bahkan, karena pengalaman hidupnya tersebut, ia kerap menggelar acara untuk berbagi dan membagi motivasi dari pengalaman hidupnya pada orang lain.

Maia sempat menceritakan pengalamannya yang paling terpuruk tanpa melibatkan nama orang lain di dalam hidupnya tersebut.

"Saya bukan berarti menjelekkan orang lain tidak, tapi menceritakan bagaimana saya dulu jatuh kemudian bangunnya gimana.

Kalau menyebut nama engga, kalau nyebut nama jatuhnya menjelekkan nama orang," kata Maia Estianty.

Ia lebih senang menceritakan sendiri pengalamannya dan caranya bangkit tanpa menyudutkan seseorang.

"Contohnya apa yang saya lalui, tanpa harus menegatifkan orang lain atau menjelekkan orang lain," ujarnya.

"Bangkit karena saya ngga mau terpuruk aja," sambungnya.

Menurutnya tidak mudah bagi seseorang yang mengalami keterpurukan dalam hidup untuk berusaha bangkit kembali. Namun, bagi seseorang yang bemental lebih kuat atau cepat melupakan pasti akan terasa lebih mudah.

Karena itu, ia kerap membagikan caranya bangkit dalam keterpurukan dan menjadi kondisi tersebut sebagai motivasi.

"Tapi untuk mental yang gampang move on, mental yang ingin menunjukkan, maksudnya membuktikan pada diri sendiri bukan orang lain bahwa kita mampu mandiri, kita mampu sukses," jelasnya.

Maia pun tak menyinggung perihal keterpurukan di masa lalunya dalam hal berumah tangga. Ia mencontohkan momen saat orang-orang berbicara negatif kepadanya, baik secara langsung atau tidak.

"Kalau misal ada orang negatif ngomong soal saya, lihat saja nanti, kamu lihat ya.

Jadi bangkitnya tuh termotivasi karena dihina orang," imbuhnya.

Kemudian ia menjadikan perkataan buruk orang lain tersebut sebagai motivasi untuk membuktikan kemampuannya pada diri sendiri. Ketika ditanya caranya bangkit dari masa lalu terkait perceraian dan masalah anak, Maia mengaku hanya menyerahkan dan menitipkan segalanya kepada Tuhan.

Terbukti, kini Maia mampu bangkit, bahkan kembali membina rumah tangga dengan seorang pengusaha ternama, Irwan Mussry. Saat dikabarkan menikah dengan Irwan Mussry, Ahmad Dhani mengaku bahwa ia yang menjembatani perkenalan mantan istrinya dengan suaminya yang baru.

"Ya tahu lah kan Irwan ngomong sendiri sama saya, yang ngomong sama saya, wajar lah," kata Ahmad Dhani.

Suami Mulan Jameela ini mengetahui hubungan Maia Estianty dan Irwan Mussry sejak masih pacaran. Karena itu Ahmad Dhani tak kaget mendengar kabar pernikahan Maia dan Irwan sebab sudah tahu sejak 2016 lalu.

"Dari Irwannya sendiri ngomong sama saya (mau nikah), itu zamannya 2016 Mei, udah lama ya tapi saya ngga bilang sama media," jelasnya.

Ia mengaku lebih dulu mengenal sosok Irwan Mussry jauh sebelum memiliki hubungan dengan Maia Estianty. Bahkan Ahmad Dhani merasa dirinya sendiri yang mengenalkan Irwan Mussry pada Maia Estianty.

"(Irwan Mussry) lebih kenal saya dulu daripada Maia, justru saya yang mengenalkan (mereka) mungkin ya, ujarnya. Dhani mengatakan dirinya mengenal Irwan cukup lama karena mereka teman satu geng.

"Sahabat lah, teman satu geng, ya satu geng itu artinya saya, Fadli Zon, Irwan Mussry, Irwan Bakrie itu satu geng," tuturnya.

Irwan sendiri memang dipandang sebagai laki-laki yang bertanggung jawab. Menurut Virnie Ismail yang merupakan sahabat dekat Maia, ia mengungkap keseriusan Irwan untuk menikahi sahabatnya itu.

Beberapa tahun belakangan, bukan hanya Irwan, Virnie mengaku bahwa banyak yang datang dan ingin menjadi suami Maia.

"Kalau yang deketin mah banyak dari dulu, yang pengen jadi suaminya Maia itu banyak.

Cuman saya sendiri juga belum mau dan masih banyak pertimbangan yang luar biasa, apalagi untuk 3 anak. Jadi belum terlalu memikirkan," kata Maia 2012 silam.

Tapi, setelah melalui proses cukup panjang akhirnya Maia Estianty mantap menikah dengan Irwan Mussry. Banyak penggemar Maia Estianty yang penasaran dengan alasannya memilih pengusaha jam mewah dan terkenal ini menjadi suaminya.

Virnie Ismail sebagai teman satu geng Maia Estianty pun ikut buka suara tentang hubungan mereka. Awalnya Virnie Ismail tak ingin banyak bicara soal pernikahan Maia Estianty, tapi ia turut senang bila kabar bahagia itu benar terjadi.

Apabila Ahmad Dhani merasa dirinya justru menjadi mak comblang antara Maia Estianty dan Irwan Mussry. Virnie Ismail justru mengatakan kalau Maia Estianty bisa mengenal Irwan Mussry melalui kakak kandungnya.

"Sama-sama dari Surabaya, dulu pernah ketemu karena kakaknya Bunda pernah pacaran sama kakaknya mas Irwan," ujar Virnie Ismail.

Kemudian Virnie Ismail pun menceritakan kecocokan Maia Estianty dan Irwan Mussry yang sama-sama gila bekerja atau workaholic. Menurutnya, Maia Estianty dan Irwan Mussry adalah gambaran pasangan yang seimbang.

Mereka bisa kompak berkomitmen dan saling mendukung satu sama lain dalam menjalani pilihan hidup masing-masing. Belajar dari kisah Maia Estianty, banyak yang bertanya apakah semudah itu bangkit kembali dan menikah setelah bercerai bahkan dikhianati oleh mantan suami dan mantan rekan kerjanya.

Melansir dari Huffington Post, janda atau duda yang kembali menikah pasti melewati masa yang tak mudah. Terlebih bila mereka merupakan pihak yang diasingkan atau dibuang, laiknya yang terjadi pada Maia 10 tahun silam.

Di balik perceraian, pasti muncul berbagai alasan dan sebab yang menengarai perceraian tersebut terjadi. Banyak pihak yang merasa dipojokkan dan disalahkan mantan pasangannya akibat ia dan pasangannya bercerai.

Akan tetapi, hal tersebut bukanlah langkah yang tepat untuk dapat cepat bangkit dari keterpurukan.

"Alasan itu adalah pernyataan kesalahan. Ketika seseorang menyalahkan mantan pasangannya, pasti ia membuat pernyataan bahwa 'ia selingkuh, tidak ada komunikasi), kemudian emosional. Atau ketika seseorang membuat pernyataan bahwa perceraian lantaran ketidaksiapan dalam brkomitmen, merupakan hal yang sangat klise. Ia tidak pernah merasa cukup, kemudian terus menyalahkan diri sendiri dan terpuruk dalam kesedihan," ujar Dr. Terri Orburch dalam penelitian Vanier Institute of the Family.

Bila alasan tersebut muncul dan akan selalu dibahas terus menerus, seseorang itu sebenarnya tidak sepenuhnya hadir dalam hubungan baru yang kemudian ia bina lagi. Ia juga tidak dapat mengatasi bahkan menyesuaikan diri menjadi pihak yang lebih baik untuk pilihan barunya.

Menurut Orbuch, ia menemukan bahwa perempuan dan laki-laki memiliki perbedaan pandangan tentang pasangan mereka sebelumnya. Perempuan  biasanya cenderung lebih menyalahkan mantan pasangannya, yang kemudian memicu perceraian.

Akan tetapi di pihak laki-laki, mereka kerap menyalahkan diri mereka sendiri, meski tak menutup kemungkinan bahwa keduanya saling berkbalikan. Meski tak mudah, ada beberapa tip yang bisa dipakai seseorang yang sudah bercerai dan kemudian akan menikah lagi dan membina rumah tangga yang tentram serta harmonis!

1. Berhenti menyalahkan mantan pasangan dan diri sendiri

Penelitian membuktikan bahwa pasangan yang bercerai dan cenderung menyalahkan pasangan atau bahkan diri sendiri justru akan terjebak dalam situasi tertekan dan juga kesedihan terus-menerus.

Ia akan memiliki kecemasan yang lebih tinggi, rentan mengalami depresi, bahkan mengalami gangguan tidur.

Bahkan, bisa jadi ia juga akan mengalami gangguan dan masalah kesehatan secara keseluruhan.

Ini karena seseorang yang memiliki pikiran dan juga pemikiran positif cenderung lebih hidup bahagia, daripada yang kerap berpikir negatif.

Terlebih, menyalahkan orang lain atau diri sendiri justru akan mengantar seseorang menuju jurang kegagalan.

2. Jangan menunggu siapa pun dan apa pun

Orang yang merasa gagal dalam hidupnya, terlebih pascacerai, cenderung merasa hidupnya membosankan.

Sehingga kadang mereka justru melakukan tantangan pada dirinya sendiri.

Beberapa yang kerap dilakukan seseorang yang telah gagal berumah tangga adalah menemukan dan menunggu pasangan baru dan juga komitmen baru.

Kenyataannya, kembali menjalin hubungan asmara dan berumah tangga membutuhkan sikap positif yang dicerminkan dengan perjuangan masing-masing.

Dengan hanya menunggu, seseorang tak akan merasa bahwa hidup dan juga kisah asmaranya pernah diperjuangkan, sehingga mereka yang kerap menunggu saja rentan mengalami perpisahan juga pertengkaran.

3. Melupakan masa lalu

Mengingat rasa sakit dan kekecewaan bukan akan menyembuhkan justru akan makin menyakitkan.

Tak hanya bagi diri sendiri, juga bagi masa depan seseorang.

Meski kadang masa lalu tak perlu dilupakan, tetapi kenangan masa lalu yang membuat seseorang hancur dan sempat terpuruk justru harus dihilangkan dan diganti dengan kenangan baik di masa sekarang dan masa depan.

Bergulat dengan masa lalu dan memandang bahwa mantan pasangan lebih bahagia akan merusak masa depan.

Ada baiknya bila seseorang kembali membentuk ruang baru untuk masa depan, bekerja keras dan melupakan hal yang memicu perpecahan dan mengganti dengan kegiatan positif karena emosi akan otomatis terkendali dan lebih baik dalam menjalani masa depan.

4. Memperbaiki komunikasi

Jangan anggap komunikasi justru menjadi jurang perpecahan.

Untuk yang pernah gagal dalam berumah tangga, menjalin komunikasi dengan calon pasangan baru justru bisa meminimalisasi terjadinya hal-hal yang tak diinginkan dalam hubungan ke depan.

Karena menghabiskan waktu berkomunikasi bisa jadi jalan untuk mengenal pribadi satu sama lain lebih dalam dan memahami lebih dalam.

Dari tip tersebut, pasangan yang pernah bercerai dan akan menikah lagi juga pasti memiliki alasan.

Alasan apa yang mereka pilih saat memutuskan menikah lagi setelah bercerai?

1. Jatuh cinta

Jatuh cinta memang kadang diistilahkan seperti membutakan mata seseorang.

Memang benar bahwa jatuh cinta kadang membuat seseorang mabuk kepayang, akan tetapi saat memulai jatuh cinta, ada baiknya bila pasangan tidak terburu-buru untuk membuat komitmen.

Dalam jatuh cinta, pasangan satu sama lain harus menggunakan waktu yang berkualitas dan menghabiskan waktu mengenal satu sama lain, sebelum akhirnya mantap dan menjalani bahtera rumah tangga.

Ini agar hubungan rumah tangga tak lagi menemui jurang perpisahan.

2. Kebutuhan bukan keinginan

Sudah menjadi hal yang wajar bila seseorang yang menjalin hubungan asmara dengan pasangannya ingin segera menikah.

Namun, ada yang perlu diperhatikan sebelum kembali menikah.

Ketika seseorang bisa hidup bahagia seorang diri setelah bercerai dan bertemu orang baru, ia harus melihat seberapa besar kemungkinan pasangan tersebut akan mampu memenuhi kebutuhan secara batin dan juga materi.

Untuk orang yang pernah menjalani rumah tangga, pasangan yang pandai mengurus, mengerti dan memahami secara emosional justru lebih dibutuhkan daripada pasangan yang kerap mengumbar kemesraan dan kebahagiaan saja.

Sehingga harus dipilah antara keinginan menikah, dengan kebutuhan menikah.

Dari rangkuman tersebut, bisa jadi Maia selama 10 tahun ini benar-benar mempertimbangkan pasangannya, setelah ia bercerai dengan mantan suami yang sudah memberinya tiga anak.

Sehingga bukan hal yang dicemaskan bila melajang 10 tahun bagi Maia merupakan jurang kebosanannya.

Sumber: Nakita

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